How do the British rate at weddings?

Greeks smash plates, jews of any nationality smash glasses, the British wear hats and get smashed.

The French probably wear hats as well and look stunning. But the British wear hats as if they are handcuffs. They wear hats that you’d never see outside of a wedding, and look like people whose heads are not conversant with hat-wearing.

I don’t mean to think these things, but what else am I supposed to do when people show me their wedding photos and the evidence is before my eyes?